i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
