I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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