I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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