just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
