I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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