she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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