I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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