Do you still have your period?
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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