If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I'm always down for nudity.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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