You're completely useless in the revolution.
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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