I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Randomize
