so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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