I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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