he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
