I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
You need a sexual gate keeper
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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