The maid of honor just puked.
After last night, I could never be a politician.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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