you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
