i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
