btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
