His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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