Are we in a gay sports bar?
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
