Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
