i think i have two assholes
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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