you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
