When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
