If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize