As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Are these your boobs on my camera?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
