It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
