I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
