Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize