You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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