I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
