it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
