Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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