watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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