I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
