i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
