toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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