You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
