Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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