What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
