I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
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