i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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