OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
