It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
