My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
The adults are the big ones right?
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
