needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
