please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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