get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
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