OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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