how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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