Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
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