I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Randomize
