i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I think im going to throw up on grandma
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
