called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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