Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize