I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
