The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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