Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Randomize
