Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
