For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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