So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
