i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
