I am spending my child support on dildos
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
