So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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